how does one go back to the mundane after living a dream?

Beautiful Silence #weeklyinspiration #quotes #quotation #life

Thank you for happening.

 I know at this time of year, so many people start cursing the fact that the past year existed.… but I’m not going to do that to you. I could easily hate you and place blame on you for holding bad memories, horrible moments, things I would like to forget, but if I’m being honest with myself, I wouldn’t change a single thing.

At this time of year, people look back at so many “bad” occurrences and promise themselves that they will be better so as to minimize the “bad” moments in the future. But I want to tell you, dear 2012, that you have taught me to embrace those unfortunate moments. It is within moments like getting the worst grades of your college career that you find the determination to finally get your best. It is at the darkest moment of feeling loneliness’ deepest, most threatening clutch that you find the strength to find focus in the people who bring happiness and light back to your life. Amidst the maze of not knowing who you are, you are able to abandon yourself before God and realize that it is only He who knows the path you should be on and where you are going. During a time when you begin to despair and question whether or not you are searching in the right places for the person you think you need in your life, you are finally able to realize that it is through focusing on yourself that you build a place for the person you are meant to have to finally step in. It is by reaching a point of desperation that you finally begin the necessary descent into ultimately letting go of the reigns to your life and begin to trust that wherever the road goes, you will be taken care of.

When I began 2012, I never had any idea that the year could actually change me. I vowed to do so many superficial things… run more, study more, do better, be better… but at the end of you, dearest 2012, I realize that I was never completely in control. I tried to control you, own you, tell you what I needed, demand for you to bring me who I needed and where I needed to be. I never asked you to change me, rather I demanded for you to allow me to shape myself in the ways I thought I needed to be shaped.

And then I let go.

I let myself go to you and all the twisting ways you decided to change me. I let you show me that you will bring me exactly what I need, if only I am willing to listen and pay attention to your cues. I let you show me that when you bring me challenges, I should pay attention and realize that you are trying to make me better. I let you show me that when I stop trying to figure out who I want in my life, you bring me exactly who I have needed in my life. I let you show me that when I stop trying to be the best at something that is not me, you bring me success in what I have now learned is exactly me. 2012, you showed me that I am best when I am listening to the small intuitions which naturally occur within me every second of every day.

So dear 2012, while I could curse you and hate you for not giving me success in the resolution which I made at the beginning of you, I want to thank you in the deepest way for giving me the growth which I have now realized I so desperately needed. You hurt me and tossed me around only in the hopes of making me appreciate the goodness and strength within me. I hope you know, 2012, that I will enter 2013 open to all of the experiences which the next 365 days bring me. I understand now that heartache is a part of the game. I will fail, I will succeed. I will be cursed, I will be blessed. I will be loved, I will be lost. I will stay, I will grow. But beyond all of this, I will inch 365 steps closer to the person you have pushed me closer to becoming.

Thank you 2012, and welcome lovely 2013.

All my love,

Adriana

*applause* for these amazing women

Love Story

I don’t need a “perfect” fairy tale love story. I don’t need endless presents, cheesy text messages, or professions of undying love.

I deserve a love filled with consistency, trust, understanding, and faith. One that is based in reality. One that challenges me to be a better version of myself.

I deserve a “perfect for me” love.

(Source: patella)

In the random moments of supposedly insignificant days of our lives, true life really happens. It’s like walking into a place you never expected to be, never planned to be, and all of a sudden walking into your future. In this moment you never expected to see, you meet someone who all of a sudden brings your past, present, and future rushing together in a way you could’ve never comprehended before it actually happening.

Meant to be.

You begin to ponder whether or not there is actually more to this phrase than just an empty line in a novel written by some far off person. Is it silly to believe it might actually be true? You’ve heard it talked about so many times before, heard people preach about it at weddings, write about it in essays, poems, love letters, and yet it has always seemed like the greatest fantasy—a belief which allows people to escape from taking responsibility over their lives.

You can’t help but debate it now. 

Love finds you and takes hold without your permission. From the first hours of the first night you two met each other, it was like something else was carrying you forward. Through endless hours of discussing your past, you begin to see the person you’re now becoming. In nights of staying up to late, watching the sun rise even though you swore the conversation would end before that, you begin to see the path that has henceforth been hidden from you. In conversations you have while set far apart from each other for months on end, you realize that happiness does not only come from a closeness absent of physical distance; rather it rises up out of a closeness that only comes when you let down the invisible walls you long ago put up in order to guard yourself from ever being hurt. 

You begin to trust.

And you might look back on these first days, weeks, months sometime in the distant (or in certain cases not-so-distant) future and be amazed at the ways you instantly let someone into your life. There may come a point when you curse yourself for allowing yourself to tell your deepest secrets and fears to someone without feeling the need to hold back because you now find yourself in a pit of pain at that closeness being ripped away from you. At some point in the future, you might find yourself falling to the floor in a pit of loneliness and desire for a person who no longer has a place in your life… But through the tears and pain you’ll be able to look back and smile.

Wouldn’t it be worth it?

As frightening as it is to begin to wonder if at some point this all might end, shouldn’t you allow yourself to begin to imagine the opposing future? At some point, a few years down the road, is it so crazy to imagine yourself walking down an aisle and proclaiming in front of love ones how out of all the options in this life, you choose the one across from you to be your match? Is it crazy to picture walking into a home you’ve built together and sharing memories there, surrounded by pictures of times you’ve spent together elsewhere? Is it so crazy to imagine yourself, many many years down the road, smiling out of weathered eyes and looking around at a reunion of generations that began so many years ago when you two were willing to take a chance on closeness that started out of chance one random night. 

Meant to be.

(Source: keepitpreppyforever)